wife asked her husband to buy some organic vegetables. He went to the supermarket, but couldn’t find any on the shelves. So he asked an elderly male employee: These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with poisonous chemicals?
The employee said: No. You’ll have to do that yourself.
Dating Vs Marriage
When you are dating….. He takes you out to have a good time.
When you are married ….He brings home a 6 pack, and says What are you going to drink?
When you are dating….. He holds your hand in public.
When you are married ….He flicks your ear in public.
When you are dating….. A Single bed for 2 isn’t THAT bad.
When you are married ….A King size bed feels like an army cot.
When you are dating….. You are turned on at the sight of him naked.
When you are married ….You think to yourself Was he ALWAYS this hairy????
When you are dating….. He hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason.
When you are married ….He grabs your boob any chance he gets.
When you are dating….. You picture the two of you together, growing old together.
When you are married ….You wonder who will die first.
When you are dating….. Just looking at him makes you feel all mushy.
When you are married ….When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.
When you are dating….. He knows what the hamper is.
When you are married ….The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.
When you are dating….. He understands if you Aren’t in the mood.
When you are married ….He says It’s your job.
When you are dating….. He understands that you have male friends.
When you are married ….He thinks they are all out to steal you away.
When you are dating….. He likes to discuss things.
When you are married ….He develops a blank stare.
When you are dating….. He calls you by name.
When you are married ….He calls you Hey and refers to you when speaking to others as She.
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My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals? The produce guy looked at me and said, No. You’ll have to do that yourself.
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Kids Theories About Marriage
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. - Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty - three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. - Freddie, age 6
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don’t want any more kids. - Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. - Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they’re rich. - Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. - Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out. - Theodore, age 8
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? - Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favourite is……..
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wif
